The Japanese Art of Saying "No"

You’re probably aware the word for no in Japanese is “iie.” But you will rarely hear it spoken by a Japanese person. It is, in general, considered rude or, at least not polite, to respond directly with a no.

Japanese society highly values social harmony, therefore saying no (iie) is perceived as disruptive. 

To get around this, Japanese people use a variety of indirect expressions (which are coded to indicate refusal or disagreement), and non-verbal cues to get their point across.

Here are some ways to say no without saying no:

Muzukashii means difficult. As an American English speaker it’s easy to interpret difficult as challenging. For example: “It’s difficult, but we’ll do what it takes to make it happen.” It implies extra effort is required. But in Japan, saying something is difficult is a polite way to decline doing that thing. The listener understands this expression as a no and moves on.

Another way to say no is to say “chotto” (a little) followed by a pause. Friend: “Want to go to the park later?” Your reply “chotto…” They will know you won’t be joining them. I wrote a lot more about chotto here.

Daijoubu desu is a common, yet sometimes confusing phrase used to say no. Daijoubu desu means “it’s okay or I’m okay” and depending on context can mean yes or no. If you ask someone how they’re doing, they may respond “daijoubu desu” (I’m good), and later if you ask them if they want to come over to your place to play video games, they may again respond “daijoubu desu”, but this time they mean “I’m good here. I don’t want to go over to your place.” Pay attention to facial expressions and body language for guidance on what they mean.

You will also hear and can say “kekkou desu” to decline something. It means no thank you. This is more common to use with service staff at a restaurant or shop.

There are also a few nonverbal ways to communicate no that are used in Japan.

Making an “X” with your forearms is a clear no. Here’s a post on the meanings of various Japanese gestures.

Putting your hand in front of your face in a karate chop position and waving it side to side/back and forth in front of your face is often used. Especially when you complement someone. It’s almost guaranteed they will do this and probably even say “iie” in this situation.

Finally, if you are curious about the Japanese equivalent of “reading the room”, check out my post on “Reading the Air.”

Speed Menu

Speed Menu: Food without waiting. Another reason to love Japan!

This is a section of an Izakaya menu where you can order small side dishes that can be brought out immediately after you order them to enjoy with your first drink (traditionally a beer).

It is customary to order your drink and a few items from the speed menu so you have something to snack on while you decide what other more substantial foods (sashimi, salad, sushi, karaage, yakitori, noodles, pizza, etc.) you will order afterwards.

These dishes will take the edge off your hunger while you wait for the rest of your food to be prepared, and ensure you are not drinking on an empty stomach. They are like appetizers, but faster.

Typical speed menu items include: edamame, kyabetsu (cabbage), tsukemono (Japanese pickles. There are many kinds. It’s not just what Westerners think of as pickles.), kimchi, potesara (potato salad), cold tofu, daikon radish, cold sliced tomato, cold sliced cucumber, and other small items that are easy to prepare quickly or to have prepared in advance.

Although the speed menu items and otoshi often come from the same types of foods, they differ in that an otoshi is similar to a cover charge and is not selected by the customer (I wrote in detail about otoshi here), while the speed menu items are ordered just like any other dish.

Dekotora

Dekotora, short for “decoration truck”, is a Japanese subculture focused on decorating trucks with tons of lights (neon, LED, or ultraviolet), fancy paint jobs, extra chrome and/or gold parts, elaborate upholstery, and other often extravagant embellishments.

Dekotora originally became known because of the Torakku Yarou (Truck Guys or Truck Rascals) movie series in the 70s which was inspired by Smokey and the Bandit.

The owners often decorate them as a way of self-expression.

Here’s a video where you can see these beautiful trucks in all their glory.

The most clicked link from the previous issue was for this video ranking Japanese denim options.

The 2nd most clicked link from the previous issue was for Omoide Yokocho/Memory Lane/Yakitori Alley (said to be an inspiration for Blade Runner).

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