The Time I Met Nick Gray in Tokyo

Nick Gray recently became such an internet sensation after his blind date in Tokyo that even Tim Ferriss wrote about Nick in his 5-Bullet Friday Newsletter. What’s so interesting about a guy going on a blind date in Tokyo? Well, Nick doesn’t live in Tokyo, he lives in Austin. And he just spontaneously decided to put this daring idea out on all his social channels and just go for it. It may not be something we all can do, but it encourages one to live in the moment and do interesting things.

Nick’s blind date adventure is a fantastic story. I encourage you to read about it. Nick is the kind of person you root for. He is one of the nicest, most interesting people you could ever hope to meet. I’m not surprised he chose Tokyo as the location for his blind date. Japan is one of the top destinations for honeymoons in 2024 and Tokyo has all manner of beautiful and romantic things to do. I’ll write about that in the future.

The first (and only) time I met Nick was over 10 years ago when Nick, Tynan, Sebastian Marshall, and Leo Babauta hosted a meetup at a park in Tokyo. I’d been reading Tynan, Sebastian, and Leo’s blogs for years, but didn’t know who Nick was at the time. I quickly learned about his Tours of the New York Met (which I’m sure are amazing). I got to experience his personality and his incredible ability to put people at ease and make a museum experience far more interesting than it usually is.

After everyone hung out for a while, Nick generously offered to be our guide at the Edo-Tokyo Museum. I had recently visited the Edo-Tokyo Museum and taken a tour led by one of their extremely knowledgeable and thorough guides. I’m reluctant to admit that I bailed mid-tour because I found it so dry. I told this to Nick, and he took it as a personal challenge to ensure the tour would be entertaining. And he delivered! It was the best tour of any museum I’ve ever been on. Nick is an absolute monster, rock-star tour guide.

More recently, Nick decided to become an expert at hosting parties. I’ve yet to attend one of his, but I did buy his book “The 2-Hour Cocktail Party” (not an affiliate link) and have found it inspiring and useful. 

I hope Nick’s blind date adventure inspires you to book your own romantic getaway to Japan.

Say Their Name

The word “you” (anata) is actually kinda rude in Japanese, especially if you know that person’s name already. It's not as rude as the words “omae” and “anta” which also mean “you”, but in a much more crude crass way. You hear omae and anta in yakuza films and manga a lot. I don’t recommend using them at all in Japan, not even jokingly. Unless your goal is to offend people. In Japan, once you’ve learned someone’s name, use their name instead of saying anata “you”.

This will not seem natural at first. If your new friend is named Akira and you want to ask him if he likes action movies, Instead of saying “you like action movies?”, you’d say “Akira-san likes action movies?”. This takes a bit of getting used to, but it’s good to know because otherwise you will be unintentionally offending people by not using their names.

You will notice your Japanese friends using your name all the time and it will almost sound like they’re talking about you in the third person or like they’re talking about someone else when they are addressing you. It’s just the way Japanese language works. If your name is Maria, instead of saying “you hungry?”, they will say “Maria-san is hungry?”. 

As a side note, the endings change based on the level of closeness of a relationship or if someone older or younger is speaking with you. Instead of Maria-san, you might be called Maria-chan or a different variation. I’ll get into that at some point in the future. Just remember, if you know someone’s name, use it.

If you want more clarification on several other ways to say “you” in Japanese, click here.

Hold the Fish

Don’t panic if you don’t eat fish. Despite having Michelin Star restaurants with all different kinds of food, Japan still has trouble shaking the reputation of being a country that primarily eats fish.

Let me set this straight. Japan is not all about sushi and other fish. Oh, it can be if you want it to be, but amazing sushi and fish are just part of a larger mosaic of fantastic food options.

Japan has a storied reputation for having an incredible food culture. And this extends to all manner of food. Yakitori (grilled chicken) is hands-down my favorite Japanese food and it’s definitely not about fish.

Yakiniku (grilled meat) is similar to Korean BBQ. Tons of fresh meat that you grill at your table with sides of pickled veggies, kimchi, and rice to help fill you up. It’s a carnivorous feast with no fish in sight. Karaage is juicy, crispy, golden brown fried chicken. It’s available at nearly any izakaya. Some restaurants specialize in fried chicken wings (a Nagoya tradition). Try Sekai no Yamachan and Furaibo. Pizza, yes, pizza, is fantastic in Japan. The bakeries have pastries, croissants, and breads that rival and equal those in France and Italy. Menchi-katsu is a fried dough ball filled with delicious meat (steak or pork). Conbini sell Chinese-style steamed buns with various fillings including pork, pizza sauce with cheese, and chicken. Burgers - Japan has great burgers. Perhaps I could interest you in some Kobe beef, famous around the world for its marbling and tenderness. Maybe gyoza dumplings are more your speed (Pork-filled or veggie-filled). They’re available all over the place and some restaurants even specialize in them. Japan has amazing Chinese food across the board. Ramen, dim-sum, gyoza, fried chicken. All these foods exist in practically every neighborhood.

So, if fish is not your thing, don’t let that stop you from visiting Japan. You will have a million other delicious foods to choose from everywhere you go.